Safe and Efficient Shuttle My A$$

We decided to do our first “vacay” for the last 18 years to Japan from May 11 to May 22. Instead of paying $35 a day for 11 days parking we opted to hire a shuttle van at $40 per person (3x there and 2x back) at a total savings of $185. Good deal? Good God no and a half! Here was the joke of a promise from Prime Time Shuttle:

“Peace of mind when you travel to Los Angeles International Airport – LAX. When you are traveling, whether it be for business or pleasure, you already have enough on your mind to worry about. A Shared Van is the most economical way to travel to and from LAX. Often half the cost of a taxi, and always a more professional and pleasant experience. Our computer assisted dispatch assures you that those riding with you are traveling to the same part of the city. You will always receive a safe and efficient route.”

BULLSHIT!! Professional my hind end. Pleasant my hind end.  Efficient my hind end. Kiss my hind end.

We arrived from Japan on time at 10:25 a.m. and cleared customs at 11:30 a.m. Our reserved shuttle was supposed to meet us at the curb by 11:45 a.m. At 2:00 p.m. we were STILL waiting. According to PrimeTime dispatch “we” were the issue since there was no one else except us traveling to the Riverside area. Oh well excuse me, jerks! I paid you and told you where we were going to and from months in advance. Not my fault your “computer assisted dispatch system” has its head up its collective URL. We did not leave the airport until 2:25 p.m. and arrived home at 4:15 p.m. … 4 3/4 HOURS LATER!  I could have walked this faster.

As far as “safe and efficient route” … ha and what a joke! Our driver ran 3 red lights, was texting while driving the entire 90 miles and almost hit 10 people while changing lanes at the last second in rush hour traffic. You sir are the reason I middle-fingered people during my 50 mile, one-way commute to and from Riverside to Fullerton/Orange for 15 years. In addition, you as an arrogant twatwaffle relied on GPS, but could have easily shaved an hour off of the time if you had known the area or at the least LISTENED to your passengers who drive the area daily.  (Flash to “Van” from the movie “Cars”:  I don’t need directions!  I’ve got the GPS.)  So Mr. Driver … thanks for that and a waste of my time.

Example re: a better way?  Were it me I would have taken the 105 to the 605 to the 91 (drop off 1 at Beach in Buena Park by Knott’s Berry Farm); back to the 91 to the 5 South to Katella to drop off 3 near the Anaheim train station and/or Disney area; then, take the 57 to Yorba Linda, drop off 2 more; then reverse back to the 57 to the 91 and use the toll roads to Riverside.  But nooooooo … instead, our driver flexes his collective steering wheel muscles and takes the 105 to the 110 to the 91 to Beach Blvd., back onto the 91 to the Brookhurst exit to Katella (and hits every light red along the way) to Anaheim Stadium past Disneyland (which is a tourist nightmare you want to avoid) to Kraemer to Yorba Linda to Imperial to the 91 (non-Express Lanes) to Green River; then proceeds to go 85 mph whenever possible because he screwed up. OMG … and he then gets mad at me when I give everyone the “Disney Tour Guide” program about the area:

“Hello all .. thank you for joining us today.  While we wait for the street lights to synchronize and our driver to get his act together, I’d like to direct you to the bowling alley to our right.  Linbrook Bowl was and still is a local hangout, and back in the day, Linbrook Hardware was a weekend escape for Do It Yourself weekend warriors.  As we travel down to Ball Road, you will see on your left Mama Cozza’s which is still considered one of the best pizza parlors of the area.  (turn on Katella) … and now at Katella and Euclid you will see on the right a shopping center that was Albertson’s and Payless drug stores, plus on the left the liquor store where many local children would ride their bikes and purchase penny candy.  As we approach Ninth, we enter the “Disney District”.  I lived about a mile north on Ninth and we would “bum” tickets from tourists leaving Disneyland from 1960 to 1980.  Many of my fellow classmates still work for Disney and the Anaheim (NOT Los Angeles) Angels baseball team.  As we approach the “Pond”, I hope you will all be cheering the Ducks to the Hockey Stanley Cup Finals this next week.”

Said driver told me to “zip it” and “stop with the crap”.  I was a tad childish and stuck my tongue out at him behind his back, and the woman in front of me from Fullerton-Placentia laughed and thanked me.  Later when I mentioned to the driver that the new 91 Toll Roads via Corona had changed the game commute-wise and that he needed to bear to the right at the 15, he proceeded to rip my face off for being a “back seat driving bitch.” Yeah buddy? Shove your steering wheel and your arrogant attitude.  You wouldn’t last two seconds in Japan … they truly despise American idiots like you.

I will NEVER again hire out Prime Time Shuttle. It would have cost me about the same for a private limo, and my blood pressure and sanity would have been the better for it.

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